Hi, Pain –

I had to say a different kind of goodbye recently. One I anticipated and yet it still arrived so suddenly and without enough warning. The creaking of the empty pew and your shadowy presence were all that accompanied my mournful tears that day. No words of affection. No comforting arm around my shaking shoulders. Only Sadness sat beside me with Anger close behind. An elemental part of my past self is forever buried with her now and I can’t help but smolder and assign blame because anyone who meets a future me will never know it. Not truly. Not firsthand. Grainy photographs and well-worn memories are not sufficient substitutes for taking a seat at the table that so lovingly crafted who I became. If you don’t know me currently, you’ll never know me completely.